Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salamu alaykum,

Is there an expiation for breaking a fast through ejaculation via masturbation?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

According to the Hanafi school, there is no expiation for breaking a fast through ejaculation via masturbation. However, you do need to make those fasts up (qada’) and repent for the mistake. [see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)]

I would recommend the following website: purifyyourgaze.com

And please also see: Is There an Expiation for Masturbation During Fasting? (Shafi’i) and: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

The post Is There an Expiation for Breaking a Fast Through Ejaculation via Masturbation? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salamu alaykum,

What is the legal definition of masturbation according to the Hanafi school?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Specifically, masturbation (istimna’) refers to the act of seeking to release sperm through other than lawful sexual intercourse, and generally, to any type of stimulation of the genitals in a sexually pleasurable way.

[Fayyumi, al-Misbah al-Munir; Ibn `Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar `ala al-Durr al-Mukhtar (2.100)]

Please also see: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

And consider suggesting the website: purifyyourgaze.com

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

Photo: Maymona

The post What Is the Legal Definition of Masturbation According to the Hanafi School? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: If a person is impure due to masturbation but does not masturbate during the fast will his fast and prayers be valid?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Yes, your fast would be valid in such a case because ritual purity is not a condition for the validity of the fast. However, deliberately praying in a state of ritual impurity would be highly problematic. The solution is to take a bath before prayers, in the case of actual ejaculation, or perform a ritual ablution (wudu) otherwise.

Consider taking the following free class Absolute Essentials of Islam: Basic Hanafi Jurisprudence (STEP)

Please also see: The Ritual Bath (ghusl):Obligatory, Recommended, and Disliked Acts and: How Can I Wean Myself off From Masturbation? and: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

The post Is Fasting in a State of Ritual Impurity Due to Masturbation Valid? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: I forgot I was making up a fast and committed a sin of watching filth and masturbating. I broke my fast because there was ihtilaam (wet dream).

On another occasion while keeping a voluntary fast outside the month of Ramadan I masturbated intentionally. Do I have to do kaffara (expiation)? 

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

No, there is no expiation (kaffara) for fasts deliberately invalidated outside Ramadan. Depending on the reason, a person may well be sinful, and a makeup (qada’) would be due, but an expiation would not be binding upon him.

As for forgetfully doing something which invalidates the fast, this would be excusable, just as it is during the month of Ramadan itself. However, the sin itself still needs to be expiated for with sincere repentance.

[Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah with Tahtawi’s Gloss (2.320/327)]

Please also see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) and When is Expiation Required For a Fast?

I’d also recommend: Purify Your Gaze

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

The post Is There an Expiation for Breaking Fasts Outside of Ramadan? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Assalam alaykum

Is it permissible for a man to insert his finger in his wife’s private part?

Can a woman masturbate her husband?

Is it permissible to look at one’s partner’s private part?

Is it permissible to have sex standing? In a shower?

Answer: Walaikum assalam,

I hope you’re doing well, insha’Allah. May Allah bless you for your concern to observe limits and propriety in your actions.

The general principle is that:

(1) All sexual practices are permissible, besides the specifically prohibited (such as anal sex) or harmful. Allah Most High says, “Your spouses are your fields, so approach your fields whichever way you like.” [Qur’an, 2.223]

(2) The basis of all relations, including marriage, is mutual agreement (taradi), so any sexual activity needs to be be consensual—and while both spouses are obligated to fulfill the reasonable sexual needs of their spouse, neither is expected to agree to any type of sexual activity that they aren’t comfortable with, especially when unusual.

(3) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged each spouse to strive to fulfill the sexual desires of the other. Given that many men would neglect satisfying the sexual needs of their wives, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) actually discouraged intercourse without foreplay [Abu Dawud]

Regarding your specific questions, all the things you mentioned are permissible—with mutual consent. However, while looking at each other’s private parts is permissible without dislike, it is from Prophetic proper manners—as understood from the hadith of Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) to avoid doing so.

Finally, don’t forget that:

(1) Sexual intercourse is an action, and the Prophetic way (sunna) is to do all actions with sincerity—seeking Allah Most High thereby. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) described permissible sexual intercourse as charity (sadaqa).

(2) One should have multiple intentions—which serve as means of expressing how one is striving to seek Allah–in one’s sexual relations, including:

(a) gratitude for the blessing of a spouse and of the opportunity of sexual fulfillment;
(b) fulfilling one’s spouses rights with excellence;
(c) satisfying the desires of one’s spouse;
(d) satisfying one’s own desires in permissible ways;
(e) shielding oneself from the impermissible; and, when applicable (e) seeking righteous children.

And Allah is the giver of success and facilitation.

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a scholar and researcher of Islamic law and Executive Director of SeekersHub Global After ten years overseas, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in the Summer of 2007. In May 2008 he founded SeekersHub Global to deal with the urgent need to spread Islamic knowledge—both online and on the ground—in a reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible manner. He has been repeatedly listed as one of the world’s 500 most influential Muslims (The Muslim500).

The post Which Sexual Practices Are Permissible in Islam? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

I am so ashamed because I have watched pornography many times, even though I have tried to stop. Will Allah forgive me?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Addiction

Dear questioner, it sounds like you are a struggling with a pornography addiction. This is a serious challenge, and you need to do everything you can to overcome it. Please perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah for help.

Please commit to a path of healing, and start with Purify Your Gaze. This is an excellent resource for Muslims like yourself who struggle with sexual addictions.

Forgiveness

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “Allah, the Exalted, has said: ‘O son of Adam, I forgive you as long as you pray to Me and hope for My forgiveness, whatever sins you have committed. O son of ‘Adam, I do not care if your sins reach the height of the heaven, then you ask for my forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of ‘Adam, if you come to Me with an earth load of sins, and meet Me associating nothing to Me, I would match it with an earthload of forgiveness.”‘ [Tirmidhi]

Never lose hope in the mercy of Allah. Take the steps you need to repent, and make good on your Islam. Through Allah’s help, anything is possible. I pray that Allah heals you and brings you closer to Him.

Please see:

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.

The post I Have Watched Pornography Many Times. Will Allah Forgive Me? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

I am a young woman who masturbated a lot because of many social and family difficulties. I’ve stopped this sin but feel so guilty, and I wonder if I am still a virgin. Will I experience bad future relationships because of this?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Healing

Dear sister, alhamdulilah for your repentance. May Allah keep you far away from this sin. Moving forward, you will need to find better ways of self-soothing.

What helps you release frustration? Regular exercise is important for you.

What helps to keep you calm? Consider booking regular massages, meditation, drinking herbal tea, and so on. Learning how to ground yourself is also very useful and important.

Spiritual support

Strive to read and listen to Qur’an as regularly as you can.

Listen to podcasts such as Content of Character and Why Islam Is True to inspire you.

Virginity

Dear sister, for as long as you do not have sexual intercourse, then you are still a virgin. I pray that Allah grants you a righteous and loving husband.

Repentance

“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do.” [Qur’an, 42:25]

Allah is able to wipe away all of your bad deeds and turn them into good deeds. Please don’t be fooled by shaytan’s call to despair.

Marriage

Before you get married, I encourage you to please enrol in and complete: Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages.

May Allah grant you success in your journey to Him.

Please see:

Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

The post I Used to Masturbate. Am I Still a Virgin? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

I used to masturbate but I left it. I looked at some pornographic content and felt a wet sensation and saw fluid out of my penis. I decided to just rub it so I went to the bathroom but to my surprise fluid came out.
What should I do about my fast?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

If you ejaculated due to masturbation, you would need to perform a makeup (qada’).

Ask Allah Most High to forgive you, and to protect you from that which is displeasing to Him. Busy yourself with the good, learn something of religious knowledge daily, and find some righteous company.

Consider taking the course at purifyyourgaze.com.

Please also see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) and: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

The post Does Unintentional Masturbation Break the Fast ? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: I missed 3 fasts in the month of ramadan due to masturbation. Do I need to make up my missed fasts before next Ramadan? 

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

No, it is not a condition of validity to make up your missed fasts (qada’) before the subsequent Ramadan. Similarly, there is no expiation for such a delay.

However, it is generally wise and proper to take care of religious duties as soon as reasonably possible, as long as you don’t have a genuine excuse to do the contrary.

[Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah]

Please also see: What Should I Do to Make up Fasts Missed Because of my Addiction to Masturbation? and: The Complete Guide to Fasting

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

Ustadh Tabraze Azam.

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

The post Do I Need to Make up My Missed Fasts Before next Ramadan? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I have a problem which is somewhat similar to urinary incontinence. The doctor gave me some medicines, and also told me to masturbate three times to clear up congestion in the tract. I was afraid and asked for an alternative to it. He told me to sit in a tub filled with hot water , but that it is less effective. What should I do?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

What I understand from your question is that you suffer from some type of seminal incontinence and that a doctor has prescribed that regular ejaculation will assist in solving the problem.

If this is the case, then a more plausible option would be conjugal relations if you are married and if not, to consider marriage. If this is not possible, masturbation will be permissible if the following conditions are met:

1. No similar permissible medical solution is to be found.
2. That the action is only performed to the extent prescribed or required.
3. A reliable Muslim doctor of integrity agrees that this is the only effective solution.

This ruling is based on the maxim, “necessity (darurah) declares the impermissible, permissible”. Also, as stated by ‘Izzuddin ibn ‘Abd al-Salam in his Qawa’id, the welfare of good health is preferred over the welfare of abstaining from filth.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

The post Is Masturbation Permissible for Medical Reason? (Shafi’i) appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I am struggling to leave masturbation. I want to repent, I know it’s a grave sin but I can’t. Do you have any advice for me?

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. I pray you’re well insha’Allah.
Dear brother, do not despair of Allah’s Mercy. Allah Most High loves to forgive, even when the same sin is repeated over and over again.

The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘A person committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned. Forgive me.’ His Lord said, ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned, forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned, forgive me.’ His Lord said, ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ [Muslim]

Therefore, even if a person sins repeatedly, repenting each time, he will be forgiven. However, this on the condition that he repents sincerely, regrets his wrongdoing, and resolves that he will not return to the sin. If he falls into the sin again, then he does the same.

Addiction

Masturbation is an addiction, and like all addictions, one needs to work hard to free themselves of it. While it may offer pleasure in the very short term, in the long run it will bring ill health, physically and psychologically, and in matters of the spirit. It may also affect you marital life once you do marry. Don’t let that happen.

Please view the answers below which include practical advice on how to stop, and further useful information:

Is Masturbation Sinful? How Do I Stop?

Supplications for Stopping Masturbation

Is Expiation Required for Masturbating While Fasting?

I pray Allah gives you the strength and resolve to overcome this. We will keep you in our prayers insha’Allah.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

The post How Can I Repent From Masturbation? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I have been struggling with masturbation. I just wanted to know what exactly zina is, what are some ways to avoid it, and if masturbation falls under this category.

Answer: Assalam alaykum. Jazakum Allah khayr for your question. May Allah reward you for striving to correct your religious practice.

While masturbation is prohibited, it does not fall under the legal definition of Zina.

The legal definition of Zina

Linguistically, zina means adultery or fornification i.e. illicit sexual intercourse.

The basic legal definition of Zina is more specific, which is, ‘The act of a legally responsible person entering the head of the male organ in a genital orifice that is forbidden.’ [edited from Al Yaqut al Nafis]

From this, we can see that masturbation cannot legally be considered zina.

Zina as a general concept and its prohibition

There is a more general concept of zina which is also prohibited, and which is described in the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ,
‘Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.’ [al Bukhari, Muslim]

So here we have a wider concept of zina, in which the Prophet ﷺ describes those things that lead to zina, or acts which are associated to illicit sexual practices, and are themselves a form of zina. While these practices may go unpunished in this life, they will be taken to task in the next life, if forgiveness is not sought.

Masturbation

Masturbation is prohibited in Islam, for both men and women, as stated in all the major works of law. This is alluded to in the words of Allah Most High, ‘And those who guard their chastity [i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts], except from their wives’ … ‘They are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.’ [23:5-7]

Other than being prohibited and having a negative spiritual affect, masturbation can cause many physical weaknesses.

Repentance

Repentance can be made by praying two cycles of prayer and making du’a to Allah for forgiveness, and a firm determination not to return to it in the future.

Steps to take

By the sounds of it, you seem to be doing the right things in avoiding falling into the sin. Keeping busy in and out of the house, having good company, not spending too much time alone, exercising etc. are all positive steps.

Set a little time aside to learn more about the religion, read Quran and make remembrance of Allah in the day and night.

If you can, wake up for Tahajju, do so. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Hold fast to night prayer, for it was the way of the righteous before you, a way of drawing closer to your Lord, an expiation for wrong deeds, and a shield from sin, and it repels sickness from the body.’ [Al-Tirmidhi and Ahmad]

Please also refer to the answers found here:

Masturbation Archives

May Allah grant you success in all your endeavours.

Warmest salams
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

The post What Exactly Is Zina? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

Is using an artificial vagina for masturbation zina?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

Thank you for writing to us.

If what you are referring to is fully fledged zina that is punishable by one hundred lashes, as mentioned in the Quran, then no, masturbating with an artificial vagina is not equal to zina.

However, masturbation is prohibited in Islam and is usually associated with the viewing of pornography. You must make a firm resolution not to return to these sins as it may become an addiction, in which case, you will require professional help. Also, if your sexual desires are high and you are not able to control them, the remedy of our Sacred Law is Nikah or marriage. When marriage is not a possibility, the Messenger sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam advised young men to fast. Fasting, even though it may increase desires at first, when performed regularly, decreases sexual desires and urges.

May Allah protect us all from all actions and statements that are displeasing to Him. O Allah, protect us from sin and grant us complete chastity, Amin.

And Allah knows best
Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

The post Is Using an Artificial Vagina for Masturbation Zina? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

I feel so guilty because I am addicted to pornography and masturbation. I repented over and over again but keep falling back into sin. I wear proper hijab and I have been willing to get married ever since I found out about my problem, but unfortunately I haven’t found anyone. After the first year, I realized I have an addiction and I have been able to stop for a month and then I would do it again for a few days and stop for another month. This cycle is still going. What should I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Perspective

“And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak.” [Qur’an, 4:28]

Dear sister, please know that no matter how much you fall into sin, the door of repentance is always open to you. Allah knows how much you struggle, and none of this is wasted.

You are not alone in struggling with pornography addiction. We live in troubling times, and pornography is a very common trial in our community.

I pray that your journey in healing will bring you closer to Allah.

Addiction

I asked a recovering pornography addict for advice on your situation. I pray that this helps:

My advice to her is that Allah is teaching her how to surrender herself completely to Him. As an addict, her addiction is often overpowering, and it can only be overcome by surrendering to Allah completely. For example, when thoughts to act out come to her, she should realise that she has not control over these thoughts and must surrender to Allah at that moment. She must have the determination and patience to transform her life into one of complete surrender to Him. This requires guidance which she can find via addiction programs like Purify Your Gaze. She will relapse many times but she shouldn’t focus on it. She should focus on discovering herself and the underlying causes that drive her addiction. It is a difficult road but her addiction would be a blessing in disguise if it is a means for her to know herself and thus know her Lord.

Spiritual Nourishment

You have described many praiseworthy acts of drawing closer to Allah. MashaAllah, please persist on them. I encourage you to listen to SeekersHub’s podcasts and enrol in our courses.

Marriage

Please perform the Prayer of Need and sincerely ask Allah for the gift of a righteous spouse, as a means of helping you along your road of recovery.

Please note that marriage is not an instant fix for your addiction. Having that expectation is unfair on your future spouse.

I encourage honesty with your future spouse in terms of your addiction, just as I would encourage honesty for someone who struggles with mental illness, debt, difficult parents, or anything else that would impact on one’s marriage. The right person for you will admire your honesty and courage. Consider that a litmus test.

Prepare for marriage by enrolling in Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages and reading Before You Tie The Knot. Speak to your parents about what you’d like in a spouse – Prepare, Before Your Marriage Goes Belly-Up.

May Allah guide you along your journey towards healing.

Please see:

A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

The post I Am a Young Woman Addicted to Pornography. What Should I Do? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

I’m a 20 year old girl suffering from severe depression because I got bullied in my childhood and in my teenage life by my relatives and parents. I cry most of the time and got addicted to masturbation. I repent, but keep falling into this same sin. I’m getting more depressed with each passing day. I am worried that I will get punished in the future due to this sin. Please guide me on how to get rid of this sin and depression. How I can live my life with peace? How I can offer prayers regularly? How I can control my anger? Can I still get a good husband, after sinning so much?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Please forgive me for my delay.

Help

Dear sister, please know that you do not need to suffer alone. The support of a culturally-sensitive counsellor can help you untangle the knot of depression.

There are also many Muslimah life coaches online whom you can contact for support.

Anger

I encourage you to read this article to help you better understand how to deal with your anger.

Anger is one of the manifestations of depression. Please read about the anger iceberg to help you understand it better.

Masturbation

As you know, masturbation is sinful. It is also a sign that you need healthier outlets to release your built-up emotional charge. Perhaps you can fast regularly, exercise, and meditate.

If you need more support, as it can be very difficult to break an addiction alone, then please sign up for Purify Your Gaze. This is a safe space for you and all Muslims who struggle with any form of sex and/or pornography addiction.

Repentance

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “Allah, the Exalted, has said: ‘O son of Adam, I forgive you as long as you pray to Me and hope for My forgiveness, whatever sins you have committed. O son of ‘Adam, I do not care if your sins reach the height of the heaven, then you ask for my forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of ‘Adam, if you come to Me with an earth load of sins, and meet Me associating nothing to Me, I would match it with an earthload of forgiveness.”‘ [Tirmidhi]

Please know that the door to repentance is open to you for the rest of your life. No matter how many times you fall into sin, know that Allah’s Mercy is greater.

Prayer

Please strive to repent for the prayers you have missed, and resume them. Slowly but surely, strive to pay back the prayers you have missed. Even if you do not feel like praying, do it for Allah. Over time, inshaAllah it will get easier. Please read this dua for ease, as often as you can, to help facilitate your return to prayer.

اللَّهُمَّ لَا سَهْلَا إلِّا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً وَ أَنْتََ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلًا

Allahuma la sahla illa ma ja-‘altahu sahlan, wa Anta taj’alu ‘l-hazna idha shi’ta sahlan.

“Oh Allah there is no ease, except that which you make easy. You make the difficult easy, if You Will”. Narrated by Imam Ibn al Sunni. Excerpt from Can I Pray Fajr After Sunrise if I Wake Up Late?

Marriage

“Vile women are for vile men, and vile men are for vile women; and good women are for good men, and good men are for good women. Those are free from what they (the accusers) say. For them there is forgiveness, and a graceful provision.” [Qur’an, 24:26]

Please know that it is not difficult for Allah to bless you with a loving and righteous husband when the time is right. Until then, please work on healing yourself. Be the kind of spouse you would like to have. Work on managing your anger, being more patient, and so on. Read articles like these: Seriously. What’s the Point of Marriage?

Please do your readings and research on marriage e.g. Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages and Before You Tie The Knot.

Please see:

Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
Is Seeking Counselling A Sign of Weakness? by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

The post I Am Addicted to Masturbation. Can I Still Get a Good Husband? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Umer Mian

Question: Assalamu alaykum

If a woman masturbated without penetration during her period can she still memorize and recite the Qur’an before she is able to perform a ritual bath?

Also does touching oneself sexually while menstruating necessitate an expiation?

Answer: Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Short answer:

1) If the woman achieved orgasm and sexual fluid exited, then she enters a state of major ritual impurity due to the exiting of sexual fluid with desire. Hence, she cannot touch the Qur’an nor recite it, even for the purpose of memorizing. Furthermore, the Maliki rukhsa (dispensation) cannot be applied in this situation.

2) Expiation (kaffarah) is only related to intentionally breaking one’s fast in Ramadan. If a person intentionally breaks their Ramadan fast by masturbating, no expiation is due. However, the person is sinful and the fast must be made up.

Detailed answer:

First of all, in the Maliki madhab, it has been deemed permissible for a woman to recite Qur’an while on her menstrual cycle. This is because the menstrual cycle is a reoccurring habit that lasts for days and a woman is not able to remove this state. Hence, it has been deemed an undue hardship for her to refrain from reciting the Qur’an for days (al-Ishraf ‘ala masaa’il al-khilaf, Qadi Abdul Wahhab). Some followers of other madhabs take a rukhsa (dispensation) from the Maliki madhab and follow this position to allow for women to maintain their memorization of Qur’an, even while menstruating.

Secondly, Allah Most High says:

“ …those who guard their private parts, save from their wives or [bondwomen] whom their right hands own, for these are not blameworthy. But whoever seeks beyond that, those are the transgressors.” (23:5-7)

Masturbation is included in the words of Allah Most High, “beyond that,” and hence it is a major sin. Some narrations indicate that the one who commits this sin and fails to repent will be cursed and Allah will not gaze upon them on the Day of Judgment.

Thirdly, the well-known fiqhi principle states:

الضرورات تتقدّر بقدرها

“Dire needs are only given consideration to the extent of the need.” In the specific situation being asked about, a woman has gone beyond the established need (i.e. menstrual cycle) and committed a major sin, i.e. masturbation. If the woman achieved orgasm and sexual fluid exited, then she enters a state of major ritual impurity due to the exiting of sexual fluid with desire. There is no rukhsa nor permissibility for this in the Hanafi, Maliki, or Shafi’i madhabs. The Maliki rukhsa (dispensation) to allow for women to memorize Qur’an while menstruating is no longer valid to be followed in this state. Hence, she cannot touch the Qur’an nor recite it, even for the purpose of memorizing.

Furthermore, she should repent from this sin and take the means to prevent it from recurring. This includes:

– Guarding one’s gaze;
– Staying away from fitna;
– Asking Allah continually to free one from this problem;
– Involving oneself with acts of worship, dhikr, and service of the religion;
– Fasting;
– Removing the haram and doubtful from one’s life, especially in terms of food, money, and household “family sins” [television, free mixing, etc.] – Whenever feeling overwhelmed with one’s physical temptation to fulfill a lawful lust (food, etc.) to calm down one’s nafs. This was mentioned by Sayyidi Abd al-Ghani al-Nabulsi from Shaykh al-Akbar (Allah sanctify their
secrets).

Finally, it appears that by “expiration” you meant to say “expiation.” Expiation (kaffarah) is only related to intentionally breaking one’s fast in Ramadan. Even in that case, expiation is only due when one breaks one’s Ramadan fast by intentionally eating, drinking, or performing sexual intercourse. If a person intentionally breaks their Ramadan fast by masturbating, a makeup of the fast is due, but no expiation is due.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Umer Mian

The post Can I Memorize the Qur’an After Masturbating During My Menstruation? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Ustadah Raidah Shah Idil is asked about how to control one’s sexual desires and the urge to masturbate when one’s spouse is away for long periods.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I am a wife and mother living in India, while my husband works in Saudi Arabia. I am getting very sexually frustrated because my husband will be living overseas for two years. I love my husband deeply but am finding it so difficult to live apart from him. Is it okay for me to masturbate?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Masturbation

Dear sister, you are in a difficult situation. However, please know that masturbation is sinful.

Is Masturbation Sinful? How Do I Stop?

Marriage

It is far better for you, your husband and your children to be together. This is, unfortunately, not always possible. In the meantime, I encourage you to fast, exercise, occupy yourself with good, and visit your husband, if finances permit.

Prayer

“O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient.” [Qur’an, 2:153]

Strive to perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah for ease. Remember that your reward is commensurate with your effort, and nothing is lost on Allah.

Please see How Can I Repent From Masturbation? and Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long.

Wassalam,

Raidah

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

Is Masturbation Permissible if Your Spouse is Incarcerated?

How Can I Repent From Masturbation?

What Is the Legal Definition of Masturbation According to the Hanafi School?

The post Sexual Urge when Spouse Works Overseas appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat is asked about making up broken fasts.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa baraktuh.

I had a question related to how I can make up missed fasts.  I’ve always fasted since I’ve hit puberty.  But due to an increased sexual desire when I was a youth, I often masturbated while fasting and there were times that I ejaculated. At the time I didn’t know that this invalidated the fast.

When I learned that this in fact does invalidate your fast, I began calculating and realized that there are perhaps hundreds of fasts that I might have invalidated unknowingly while under the impression that I was in fact fasting.

My question is, how do I make up these fasts? Am I required to fast 60 days for each missed fast? I certainly will not be able to do that because of the sheer number of fasts that I’ve invalidated. Your guidance on the subject will be much appreciated.

PS: I’m a Hanafi.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Making Up Fasts

Masturbating only breaks one’s fast if there is ejaculation. If this happened during a fast in Ramadan one would only have to make up the fast, as is the case with any other fast. No expiation (kaffara) is required. You should make a good guess about the number of fasts which need to be made up, and do so. Winter is perfect for making up fasts due to the shorter days. (Shurunbulali, Maraqi al Falah)

Repenting 

Due to His infinite mercy, Allah has made repentance after a sin a means for us to draw closer to Him, just as He has made good deeds an avenue for that too. In fact, repentance is one of the acts which people who Allah loves has: “Indeed Allah loves the frequent repenters, and He loves those who purify [themselves].” (Sura al-Baqara 2:222) Turn to Him – especially when you are about to break a fast at sunset – and you’ll see wonders.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

Abdul-Rahim

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

The post Breaking Fast without Knowing the Rules appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil gives advice on dealing with an inability to orgasm in marriage.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa baraktuh.

I’ve been married for over a year to my husband and haven’t reached orgasm. I understand that it takes longer for a woman to orgasm than it does for a man, but that’s not a reason for me to not have reached orgasm from all the times we’ve had sex thus far. Although we’ve had multiple conversations about what can be changed in bed for me to orgasm, I haven’t yet.

I’ve been reading up on it, and it’s said that knowing what pleases you is important, and that’s achieved by masturbating. My lack of orgasms has really put a hamper on our sex life, which is important in a marriage, so I was wondering if it would be permissible in this case to masturbate as a way to sort this all out?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us about such an important topic.

Lack of orgasm

Dear sister, please know that you are not alone in your struggle to achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse.

Every woman is different. Because it is sinful for you to masturbate, please refrain from using your own hand. Know that you can ask your husband to use his hand, instead. Remember to use a lot of lubrication. It is perhaps much easier for you to orgasm through clitoral stimulation instead of vaginal, at this early stage of your marriage. You have the rest of your marriage to enjoy each other, insha Allah. 

Islamic sexual education

I suggest that you and your husband read the book Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations as a way of helping you along your journey.

Please consider this too: Predictable Passion: Could you The 6-Step System To Build And Sustain The Passion Your Marriage Needs To Thrive Again

Relaxation

Orgasm is something that cannot happen if you are stressed. It will, insha Allah, when you let go. This is much easier said than done. Could you consider perhaps taking the pressure off, and just enjoy the journey for now?

What is your marriage like, outside the bedroom? Are you and your husband still able to be playful with each other? In an online workshop, Hakim Archuletta said that foreplay begins in the morning when you’re nice to each other, do small things for each other etc.

Pelvic Physiotherapy

It may be worthwhile seeing a female pelvic physiotherapist for help. Speak to her about how she can help you with your sex life. 

Couples Coaching

I recommend that you seek counseling with Sister Megan Wyatt of Wives of Jannah. She has couple of coaching packages which may work for you and your husband. If cost is an issue, then perhaps you can consider her free eBooks about marriage and intimacy.

Prayer

I suggest that you and your husband perform the Prayer of Need. May Allah bless you with a loving, healthy and vibrant sex life, as well as the gift of children, when the time is right.

Please see Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered.

Raidah

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

The post Married but Cannot Climax appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan is asked about the validity of wudu and ghusl when wearing a permanent retainer.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa baraktuh.

I have a permanent retainer fixed to my top teeth. If they are removed my teeth will move.

In the past I have committed sins but now I want to do the right thing.

In terms of prayers will my wudu be valid with the fixed retainer? Before having the fixed braces put in I wasn’t making ghusl and had the bad habit. Does that mean I will not be in a state of purity unless the permanent brace is removed?

I don’t want my teeth to move, but I want my prayers, wudu, and ghusl to be accepted too.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

Shukran for your question.

The presence of a retainer in your mouth does not impact the validity or invalidity of your wudu or ghusl.

In the Shafi‘i and Maliki schools, rinsing ones mouth (madmadah) in wudu and ghusl is not compulsory, but recommended. Even if you were to omit the madmadah all together, your wudu and gusl will still be valid.

In addition, it is not a requirement that the entire inside of the mouth be rinsed during madmadah. Accordingly, madmadah will be valid with the presence of retainers or braces in one’s mouth.

And Allah knows best.

Abdurragmaan Khan

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

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