Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Salam,

I have an issue with masturbation. It is a problem for me to stop this disgusting habit. Is there any advice you can offer to me as to stop this?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

Repentance has three conditions: (1) leaving the sin, (2) remorse for having committed the sin, and (3) resolving never to return to it.

Be diligent with your prayer by praying five times a day, and find some righteous company to help you do this. Please follow the advice here: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

Impose some penalty on yourself, like giving something in charity, for slipping up. Continue asking Allah, be true to yourself, and remember your Lord and your Hereafter.

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: How does one stop one’s husband from looking at porn and from masturbation? Is it permissible for a married man to do this?

Answer:Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well.

Pornography and masturbation are both impermissible for any Muslim, male or female, married or unmarried.

Unfortunately, there is no lasting way for you to stop your husband from doing this. He must motivate himself to stop.

Deeper issues

Pornography addiction is often a symptom of a deeper spiritual and emotional imbalance. In addition to encouraging your husband to repent and heal his relationship with Allah, it would be useful for him to see a counsellor to assist him to break his addiction.

Marriage counselling

Discovering that your husband watches pornography can be very wounding to your marriage. Rather than trap yourselves in a cycle of anger, contempt, blame and resentment, remember to take regular breaks from this stressor. Remind each other about why you both got married in the first place. Build more happy memories. If necessary, seek help with a kind and qualified marriage counsellor.

Self-care

Our Beloved Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) conveyed the following from Allah most High, “When My servant draws near to Me a handspan, I draw near to Him a forearm’s length. And when he draws near to Me a forearm’s length, I draw near to him the span of two outstretched arms. And when comes to me walking, I come to Him running” [Bukhari].

Remember to also turn to Allah for guidance and healing during this time. Allah is the Turner of Hearts, so do not despair in His Mercy and His ability to heal your husband.

Be careful not to fall into the trap of self-blame. Your husband is an adult with free will, and inshaAllah he will choose the path of tawba. All you can do is model good behaviour, good character, and compassionate to yourself and others, especially your husband. Nurture your own relationship with Allah and surrender control to Him.

I pray that Allah showers His blessings upon you and your husband, and reunites you both in Jannahtul Firdous.

Please refer to the following links:

My father watches pornography, what shall I do?
A reader on pornography and masturbation
A reader on repentance

Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I used to masturbate, I feel really guilty about this and want to make up for the sins I have commited by doing this.
I keep getting negative thoughts when I try to make ghusl that I haven’t cleaned a certain area properly, or water hasn’t reached everywhere.
Can you advise me on how to make ghusl quickly?

Also I have broken my left arm. Although I am right handed, I can’t reach some areas when making ghusl because of this, what should I do in this situation?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

With a standard shower, you can easily make a complete ritual bath (ghusl) within a minute.

What is obligatory is to wash your mouth and nose, and pour water over your entire body. If you cannot reach a particular area, use the shower head and consider it washed. Ignore any misgivings, and ask Allah for ease and facilitation.

For a list of the sunnas of the ritual bath, please see: The Ritual Bath (ghusl): Obligatory, Recommended, and Disliked Acts

Please see: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

And Allah alone gives success.

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaikum.

When me and my husband are having sex the only way I can be satisfied and have an orgasm is by rubbing my clitoris with my hands while having sex with him. Is it permissible?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

No, this would not be permitted as the basis is that masturbation is impermissible. The solution would be to ask your spouse to do it for you, which is permitted.

And Allah knows best.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salam alaykum,

From the age of 15 I have been addicted to masturbation and pornography. I am married and it’s affecting my marriage and my wife.

I have tried everything: blocking porn on my mobile and computer, praying, dua… I am really suffering. I can’t lower my gaze and stop.

What can I do?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

Keep repenting, keep turning back to Allah with resolve never to return to the sin, and pray the the Prayers of Need and Repentance daily: How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? and: Prayer of Repentance: Salat al-Tawba

Please see the following resources: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) and: How Can I Wean Myself off From Porn? and: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

Do everything you can to break the habit completely. Cancel your internet subscription, and go away with your wife somewhere, giving yourself a change of scenery and chance to renew your resolve and relationships. And take the following program: purifyyourgaze.com

And Allah alone knows best.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Shaykh Rami Nsour

Question: As-Salāmu `Alaykum

Before converting to Islam I masturbated regularly. I understand it is prohibited in Islam and I have tried to cut down. However, sometimes I slip into old habits and give in to my desires.

My question is, in Ramadan, if one was to masturbate in the Maliki school would they have to pay a kaffarah i.e. feed 60 people? I’m aware that I would have to make up the fast at a later date.

I also wished to ask that does the emission of madhi voluntary or involuntary require someone to do ghusl in the Maliki school, or would ablution suffice? Would this too invalidate ones fast?

I apologize for asking such questions, but I couldn’t ask this openly to my teachers.

Answer: No apology needed about asking this question as blameworthy modesty is that which prevents on from asking questions about the religion. You have taken a great step in asking this question.

Penalty (Kaffara) For Ejaculation of Fluid

If one were to intentionally cause the ejaculation of sexual fluid (many or madhy) during the daytime of a fast, then that fast would be invalid. The person would have to make up that fast and pay a penalty (kaffara) which would be either fasting 60 days consecutively, feeding 60 people or freeing a Muslim slave. One kaffara would be done for every day that was broken. (Khalil, Al-Mukhtasar)

Cowper’s Fluid (madhy)

The emission of madhy would only require washing of the entire penis and would not require a full shower (ghusl). The emission of madhy would require wudu and would invalidate the fast if the person did something intentionally to cause it to come out. If one knows that by looking, thinking or touching that madhy will exit and it does, then the fast is broken and must be made up. (Dusuqi, Hashiyatul Sharh al Kabir)

Advice to Break the Habit

I advise you to seek whatever help you need in breaking the habit that you have formed. Regular fasting throughout the year can help you do this. Recitation of Sura Al Tariq also aids in prevention of this type of habit (Zarruq, Naseeha). A reduction in tasty foods may also help. Delaying the shaving of the pubic hair will also reduce desire, but it should be shaved at least once every 40 days. One should never look or touch the private area unless there is need, such as cleaning after urination, and should do so in as short time as possible.

Rami

*Note: In the Hanafi school masturbation resulting in ejaculation invalidates the fast but doesn’t require expiation (kaffara). Rather, it is obligatory to (1) make up the fast and (2) sincerely repent.

Related Answers:

Is Expiation Required for Masturbating While Fasting? (Hanafi)

Is Masturbation Sinful and How Do I Stop?

Supplications for Stopping Masturbation

A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalamu Alaikum wa ramatulahi wa bakaratu.

My fiance and I  have been engaged for couple of years now.  We haven’t married years due to his incarceration and related certain procedures that must be followed. We have a deep love for each other and we are determined to get married even though the process has been long and hard.  

We have never been physically intimate with each other, however we do masturbate while thinking of the other.  

After Allah makes a way for us to marry, would it be halal for us to go back to masturbating to the thought of one another?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this finds you in the best of health and spirits, insha’Allah.

No, masturbation is impermissible. It is not permitted to masturbate oneself.

It is natural to have a desire for physical contact, however, such contact is unlawful until there is a legally valid marriage contract. Thus, you should do everything within you ability to lower your desires– fasting, guarding the gaze and thoughts, staying away from all forms of unlawfulness, and most importantly, asking Allah to grant you control, patience, and to open up a quick way for you to marry. See: A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [Qur’an, 65. 2-3] Leave the unlawful, and Allah will open up for you a way to the lawful. Taqwa comes first. Then the opening.

See also: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: Supplications for Stopping Masturbation

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Is a wife permitted to masturbate her husband and her husband permitted to masturbate her?

Answer: In the name of Allah, the inspirer of truth.

All praise is to Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate, and all blessings and peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

Ibn ‘Abidin clearly states the permissibility of mutual masturbation between the husband and the wife, quoting the Mi’raj al-Diraya as saying ‘And it is permitted to masturbate with the hand of one’s wife’. However, elsewhere in al-Durr al-Mukhtar (upon which Ibn ‘Abidin is commenting) Imam al-Haskafi quotes the Jawhara al-Nayyara as saying ‘It is disliked if one enables one’s wife … to play with one’s penis such that it results in ejaculation’. Ibn ‘Abidin explains that the ‘dislike’ here must mean, at most, somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) so it does not negate what ibn ‘Abidin quoted earlier from Mi’raj al-Diraya concerning the lawfulness of this act.

Ibn ‘Abidin further explains the difference between this and masturbating with one’s own hand, which is clearly forbidden except in exceptional circumstances, as being that in the former one is satisfying oneself with that which is permissible to gain satisfaction from, namely a part of one’s spouse all of whom one is permitted to seek sexual satisfaction from, whereas in the later one is not.

He adds that therefore just as masturbating with one’s hand is forbidden so is masturbating with one’s own thigh or a wall or any other object.

Based on this reasoning and the explicit text mentioned above concerning the permissibility of a man masturbating with his wife’s hand it can be concluded that the reverse is also permissible, namely the wife’s masturbating with the husband’s hand.
[Radd al-Muhtar, 2:400, 4:28, al-‘Ilmiyya]

And Allah alone gives success.

Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: If a girl masturbates in front of another girl without touching her is it lesbian intercourse or actual fornication in Islam?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

Masturbation is impermissible and sinful.

However, it is not fornication (zina) whether or not a person is present.

Please see: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: Mutual Masturbation Between Spouses

Masturbation has many personal and societal ill-effects that are known and recognized in sane traditional societies and by balanced people. The early Muslims used to say, “The one who weds his hand is accursed.” [Ibn Humam, Fath al-Qadir]

Please see: Is Masturbation Sinful? How Do I Stop?

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Salam,

I have an issue with masturbation. It is a problem for me to stop this disgusting habit. Is there any advice you can offer to me as to stop this?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

Repentance has three conditions: (1) leaving the sin, (2) remorse for having committed the sin, and (3) resolving never to return to it.

Be diligent with your prayer by praying five times a day, and find some righteous company to help you do this. Please follow the advice here: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation

Impose some penalty on yourself, like giving something in charity, for slipping up. Continue asking Allah, be true to yourself, and remember your Lord and your Hereafter.

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: How does one stop one’s husband from looking at porn and from masturbation? Is it permissible for a married man to do this?

Answer:Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well.

Pornography and masturbation are both impermissible for any Muslim, male or female, married or unmarried.

Unfortunately, there is no lasting way for you to stop your husband from doing this. He must motivate himself to stop.

Deeper issues

Pornography addiction is often a symptom of a deeper spiritual and emotional imbalance. In addition to encouraging your husband to repent and heal his relationship with Allah, it would be useful for him to see a counsellor to assist him to break his addiction.

Marriage counselling

Discovering that your husband watches pornography can be very wounding to your marriage. Rather than trap yourselves in a cycle of anger, contempt, blame and resentment, remember to take regular breaks from this stressor. Remind each other about why you both got married in the first place. Build more happy memories. If necessary, seek help with a kind and qualified marriage counsellor.

Self-care

Our Beloved Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) conveyed the following from Allah most High, “When My servant draws near to Me a handspan, I draw near to Him a forearm’s length. And when he draws near to Me a forearm’s length, I draw near to him the span of two outstretched arms. And when comes to me walking, I come to Him running” [Bukhari].

Remember to also turn to Allah for guidance and healing during this time. Allah is the Turner of Hearts, so do not despair in His Mercy and His ability to heal your husband.

Be careful not to fall into the trap of self-blame. Your husband is an adult with free will, and inshaAllah he will choose the path of tawba. All you can do is model good behaviour, good character, and compassionate to yourself and others, especially your husband. Nurture your own relationship with Allah and surrender control to Him.

I pray that Allah showers His blessings upon you and your husband, and reunites you both in Jannahtul Firdous.

Please refer to the following links:

My father watches pornography, what shall I do?
A reader on pornography and masturbation
A reader on repentance

Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I used to masturbate, I feel really guilty about this and want to make up for the sins I have commited by doing this.
I keep getting negative thoughts when I try to make ghusl that I haven’t cleaned a certain area properly, or water hasn’t reached everywhere.
Can you advise me on how to make ghusl quickly?

Also I have broken my left arm. Although I am right handed, I can’t reach some areas when making ghusl because of this, what should I do in this situation?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

With a standard shower, you can easily make a complete ritual bath (ghusl) within a minute.

What is obligatory is to wash your mouth and nose, and pour water over your entire body. If you cannot reach a particular area, use the shower head and consider it washed. Ignore any misgivings, and ask Allah for ease and facilitation.

For a list of the sunnas of the ritual bath, please see: The Ritual Bath (ghusl): Obligatory, Recommended, and Disliked Acts

Please see: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

And Allah alone gives success.

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salam alaykum,

Am I allowed to marry a chaste man despite my failure to quit my addiction to masturbation?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

No, you do not have to marry a fornicator because the verse you are referring to is speaking of a particular context, and in any case, has interpretations according to the scholars.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.” [Ibn Majah] (A Reader on Tawba (Repentance))

Repent from your mistake, ask Allah to change you, whilst actively taking the means of change, and supplicate for a righteous spouse.

Please see: How Can I Wean Myself off From Masturbation? and: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: Can Someone Guilty of Fornication Marry Someone Chaste? and: Is it Prohibited to Marry Someone Guilty of Adultery/Fornication?

And Allah alone knows best.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalamu Alaikum wa ramatulahi wa bakaratu.

My fiance and I  have been engaged for couple of years now.  We haven’t married years due to his incarceration and related certain procedures that must be followed. We have a deep love for each other and we are determined to get married even though the process has been long and hard.  

We have never been physically intimate with each other, however we do masturbate while thinking of the other.  

After Allah makes a way for us to marry, would it be halal for us to go back to masturbating to the thought of one another?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this finds you in the best of health and spirits, insha’Allah.

No, masturbation is impermissible. It is not permitted to masturbate oneself.

It is natural to have a desire for physical contact, however, such contact is unlawful until there is a legally valid marriage contract. Thus, you should do everything within you ability to lower your desires– fasting, guarding the gaze and thoughts, staying away from all forms of unlawfulness, and most importantly, asking Allah to grant you control, patience, and to open up a quick way for you to marry. See: A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [Qur’an, 65. 2-3] Leave the unlawful, and Allah will open up for you a way to the lawful. Taqwa comes first. Then the opening.

See also: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: Supplications for Stopping Masturbation

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Is a wife permitted to masturbate her husband and her husband permitted to masturbate her?

Answer: In the name of Allah, the inspirer of truth.

All praise is to Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate, and all blessings and peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

Ibn ‘Abidin clearly states the permissibility of mutual masturbation between the husband and the wife, quoting the Mi’raj al-Diraya as saying ‘And it is permitted to masturbate with the hand of one’s wife’. However, elsewhere in al-Durr al-Mukhtar (upon which Ibn ‘Abidin is commenting) Imam al-Haskafi quotes the Jawhara al-Nayyara as saying ‘It is disliked if one enables one’s wife … to play with one’s penis such that it results in ejaculation’. Ibn ‘Abidin explains that the ‘dislike’ here must mean, at most, somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) so it does not negate what ibn ‘Abidin quoted earlier from Mi’raj al-Diraya concerning the lawfulness of this act.

Ibn ‘Abidin further explains the difference between this and masturbating with one’s own hand, which is clearly forbidden except in exceptional circumstances, as being that in the former one is satisfying oneself with that which is permissible to gain satisfaction from, namely a part of one’s spouse all of whom one is permitted to seek sexual satisfaction from, whereas in the later one is not.

He adds that therefore just as masturbating with one’s hand is forbidden so is masturbating with one’s own thigh or a wall or any other object.

Based on this reasoning and the explicit text mentioned above concerning the permissibility of a man masturbating with his wife’s hand it can be concluded that the reverse is also permissible, namely the wife’s masturbating with the husband’s hand.
[Radd al-Muhtar, 2:400, 4:28, al-‘Ilmiyya]

And Allah alone gives success.

Faraz Rabbani

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaikum,

Does reaching an orgasm by rubbing my private parts against someone else while fasting for Ramadan require an expiation?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

You need only to make up this day of fasting (qada’).

This is because you did not do something that is considered a major violation of the fast necessitating an expiation (kaffara), such as actual intercourse. [Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah]

Nonetheless, you still committed a serious sin which requires repentance. [see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)]

Please also see: Principles on what invalidates the fast and: Is Expiation Required for Masturbating While Fasting?

And Allah alone knows best.

wassalam,
Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The post I Almost Committed Adultery While Fasting-Is an Expiation Necessitated? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salam alaykum,

I missed about 12-13 fasts last year due to my addiction to masturbation. What should I do to make up these fasts?

Also could you please give me advices on how to get rid of this addiction?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

In general, masturbation is impermissible and sinful.

If it results in ejaculation, it invalidates the fast, yet does not necessitate an expiation (kaffara) because it isn’t deemed to be a complete fulfilment of a person’s sexual desire, namely, that which is attained through actual intercourse. [Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah]

Ramadan is a time of learning to restrain your bodily desires so you can change and become somebody whom Allah Most High loves. And this requires adhering to the prohibitions against fulfilling your sexual desire, particularly in an impermissible manner.

As such, you should calculate the number of fasts you owe, add a safe ten percent, and then strive to make them up in a gradual manner, consistently, seeking to redress your wrong and save yourself from the Fire thereby.

Ask Allah Most High to forgive you out of His Generosity, and to facilitate good in your life. [see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) and: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a]

Please see: Is Expiation Required for Masturbating While Fasting? and: A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation and: How Can I Wean Myself off From Porn?

And Allah alone knows best.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The post What Should I Do to Make up Fasts Missed Because of My Addiction to Masturbation? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Shuaib Ally

Question: Should a man having an intercourse after breaking his fast through masturbation perform an expiation for this broken fast?

Answer: Assalamu ‘alaykum,

I pray that you are well.

The Legal Ruling

If a male were in an obligatory fast in Ramadan, and then were to masturbate and ejaculate, followed by having intercourse with any woman, his wife or otherwise, there would be no obligatory expiation for the broken fast. This is because the expiation is specifically for a fast that is broken by means of intercourse, not by masturbation.

If one is remorseful and wishes to pay the expiation along with performing the obligatory make up fast, he can do so as a form of voluntary charity, seeking the forgiveness of God.

Breaking a Fast in Ramadan

Breaking your fast by any means without just cause is sinful, whether or not there is an associated expiation. The Prophet, peace and blessings of God be upon him, is reported to have said, “Whoever breaks a day of fast in Ramadan, without a permissible dispensation or illness, fasting an eternity, were he to do so, would not make it up” [Tirmidhi; Nasa’i].

God knows best.

Shuaib Ally

The post Is There an Expiation for Masturbation During Fasting? (Shafi’i) appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I love my husband dearly but he does not satisfy me sexually. I am left frustrated and disappointed. As a result, intercourse is painful for me. I don’t know who to talk to.

My doctor suggested that I masturbate but it is a sin. What am I supposed to do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. Dear sister, may Allah reward you for being brave enough to ask about this deeply private and important topic.

Masturbation

Although masturbation is impermissible, please do not give up on having fulfilling marital intimacy. In addition to making dua and performing The Prayer of Need, please explore different wholesome options with your husband to help you reach sexual satisfaction.

I encourage you and your husband to refer back to the section on foreplay in “Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations” and implement the permissible techniques located within the book. For example, your husband can use either his hand or a sex toy to stimulate your clitoris until you climax. Remember to use enough lubrication. This will take practice, but persist and inshaAllah you will both enjoy marital intimacy. Additionally, it is permissible for your husband to perform oral sex on you, especially if it will help give you sexual pleasure.

Please refer to this article for further details: Is It Permissible To Perform Oral Sex to One’s Wife?

Take your time to enjoy each other. Talk to teach other and learn what feels good, and what doesn’t.

Intention

Hudhaifa and Abu Shaiba reported Allah’s Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace) as saying: “Every act of goodness is sadaqa (charity).” [Muslim]

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that: the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

Abu Dharr al-Ghifaril relates that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “…Verily in every Tasbih [i.e. saying Subhan Allah] there is charity, in every Takbir [i.e. saying Allahu Akbar] there is charity, in every Tahmid [i.e. saying Alhamdulilah] there is charity, in every Tahlil [i.e. saying La ilaha illlah] there is charity, enjoining of good is charity, forbidding of evil is charity, and in the sexual act of each of you there is charity.” [The Companions said], “O Messenger of Allah! One of us fulfils his sexual desire and he is given a reward for that?” And he said, “Do you not see that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded.” [Muslim]

It is extremely important that your husband learns to satisfy your sexual needs before he satisfies his. This is the Prophetic way of being with one’s wife.

In essence, the best foreplay begins long before you both enter the bedroom. There are many, many acts of love and connection which he can do to help you warm up to him. This excellent article is a wonderful resource: Turning On Your Crockpot.

I strongly suggest that your husband make the intention of pleasing you, from the start of his day, right up until he approaches you in the bedroom. Of course, this applies to you too. I pray that with sincere dua and practice, you will both have a mutually pleasing sexual relationship.

Counselling

If you both continue to struggle, then I suggest seeing a culturally-sensitive counsellor. Make it clear to your counsellor that masturbation is not an option for you, and ask about other methods you can explore with your husband.

Sexual difficulties are very common in marriage, and can definitely be worked on with the help of a professional therapist. Your counsellor is bound by confidentiality laws, so you can be frank with her.

Pelvic health

Please look for a compassionate female physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic health. Painful intercourse is something that can be treated, on both an emotional and physical level. A female physiotherapist can help to massage and relax tense vaginal muscles.

Please keep in touch if you need further clarification.

Please see:

Some Prophetic Supplications for Difficulty and Distress

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The post My Husband Does Not Satisfy Me During Marital Relations. What Can I Do? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Assalam alaykum,

What should do someone who has masturbated during the fast?

Answer: Walaikum assalam,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and spirits.

Masturbation during the fast is even more sinful. It doesn’t invalidate the fast unless it results in ejaculation (orgasm).

If the fast is invalidated through masturbation, two things are required: (1) sincere repentance and (2) making up the invalidated fast. However, expiation (kaffara) is not required.

[ref: Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah; Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Please see: Is Masturbation Sinful? How Do I Stop?

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a scholar and researcher of Islamic law and translator of several Arabic works to the English language. After ten years overseas, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in the Summer of 2007. In May 2008 he founded SeekersGuidance to deal with the urgent need to spread Islamic knowledge—both online and on the ground—in a reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible manner.

The post What Should Do Someone Who Has Masturbated During a Fast? appeared first on SeekersHub Answers.